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Bips: Bollywood Bride?

12427-1214695-thumbnail.jpgToday's mission was to help my colleague with a very delicate matter. He asked me to help him find his wife. The request was one of honor often reserved for (or insisted upon) by Indian parents. As such, I felt quite honored by the appointment.

To find an appropriate wife, we asked our driver to go to the best location. In Mumbai, that place is Bollywood. Bollywood is the epicenter of Indian's entertainment industry and thus would give us our best chance of finding a gorgeous and eligible actress worthy of my colleague's affection.

Making the challenge harder was the fact that my colleague was unwilling to settle for just any Bollywood Starlet. To be successful, our search must land one young lady in particular: the dazzling Bipasha Basu.

In a city where eight foot wide trucks can fit into seven foot wide allies, trying to find the women recently voted sexiest in Asia in just under two hours did not strike us an impossible task. Like so many times this week, Mumbai did not disappoint.

At the J.W. Marriott - reportedly the best hotel in Mumbai for star-gazing - we found her! There, in the lobby, dressed in black, stood Bipasha looking picture perfect. As we approached, we learned she was there to invite guests walking by to join her for "Nocturnal: the hottest New Year's eve party in Mumbai". This was the big chance.

Without fear, my colleague approached her and, in his best hindi, proposed right then and there. (Actually, he asked her to say "21" in Hindi, which, while puzzling, I assumed was a necessary part of the indigenous courting ritual.) When she did not reply, however, we came to learn that Bipasha, or Bips as she's so well known, was, um, shall we say... a bit wooden. After another minute, it was clear she had the depth and personality of a... words escape me... oh!, the depth and personality of a life-sized cardboard promotional cut-out.

Disappointed, but unfortunately not surprised, my colleague decided this was certainly not the kind of woman that could interest him for long. Sure, he might use her as a trophy back home, but that would get old pretty quickly. (Plus, there was the small problem of smuggling her out of the hotel and lashing her to the roof of the car unseen by security.) With the spell of passion broken, it was time to move on.

While it appears the marriage won't work out, at least my colleague can go home knowing that he gave Bips her shot at the big time. It was the least he could do.

Reader Comments (1)

Hey! I'm not done yet. This is the city that exemplifies the "law of attraction" - Bips and I are just starting our journey.

It won't be long till we are clinging champaign glasses at the same parties and jamming to some bhangra. Once I'm "in the scene," my charm will more than take over. John (her bollywood boyfriend) has no idea what's comin...

Remember, I got "sha*" on by a bird - luck is on MY side.
December 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterColleague

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